My insecurities are hard to fight off but im doing my best every day to keep them under wraps. I feel my body is just hideous most of the time and my face is devastating… sometimes i feel pretty…sometimes i feel like im fine just the way i am but those moments don’t last forever…..the thots are painful i don’t like feeling about myself this way at all. It makes my eating disorders so much worse… one moment im binge eating and can’t stop myself and the nxt day i wont eat at all then i see a picture and it makes me stop eating automatically… makes me so very sick to my stomach and i can’t get tht feeling out of my mind after tht point. takes days maybe… sometimes just a few hours.. sad part im either shoveling food into my mouth or refusing my body of its needs….all while battling a horrid battle of never feeling im good enough for anything in my mind… but i am good enough i just don’t know when my mind will acknowledge wht is true and wht is insecurity… i just HOPE its SOON!!
July 2012
1 post
June 2012
11 posts
Love your blog, don't stop blogging.
thank you :)
April 2012
1 post
February 2012
20 posts
Fake Smiles
Just sitting here alone, wondering. How many others have deep hurting pain inside? YET nobody around them really knows. You paint a smile over your frowns. You giggle and laugh to cover your cries. Everyone thinks I’m a very happy person. And yes i love life and love to smile and laugh. But i have so much pain that has the power to rip and tear at my soul. This pain can be torcher and theres noway around it. Its here to stay. FOREVER.
